i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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