The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
