Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you traded sex for a burrito?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
