I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
