OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
