is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
