Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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