She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
porn star boner night. come get it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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