Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
