Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
