Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I cockslap morals
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
