i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
