White coat. Heels.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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