Say something about gay babies.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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