You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I AM VODKA MAN
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
