Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Ladies don't puke and tell
I want a musical about memes.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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