Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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