It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
