dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize