Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
