My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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