I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
