you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
