Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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