really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
