I am in a vortex of obligation.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
