We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
This gyro tastes like lonliness
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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