I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
