The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
