One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize