seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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