Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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