She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
