I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
