is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
