If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she pinky promised me she was 18
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
