so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize