what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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