After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
