Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
