Moan for me like Helen Keller
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
