remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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