I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
