i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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