I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
