Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
True college students do jello shots in the library
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
