She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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