took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
