How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
