all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
