I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
