Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
