she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
