I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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