wat bout pragnant strippers??
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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