Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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