There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
