escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
