Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
