i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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