he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
No subtext here. People are naked.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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